For The DogsI should have obeyed my instincts when I first saw the trailer, but I saw Luc Besson's name flash across the screen, and that still carries some cache with me, so I bit. This is despite mediocre scripts like
Kiss of the Dragon and
The Transporter that Besson tossed off over the last few years, presumably to pay the bills.
Many of the traits present in Besson's better films (ones that he directed himself) are present in
Unleashed: stylized violence; the sensuality of innocence; over-the-top bad guys; heroes who explore their softer side. But this film plays like an hackneyed Besson B-movie. Jet Li plays dogboy Danny, whose loan shark master (Bob Hoskins) uses Danny as an enforcer when making collections. First off, the title of the film is not even accurate because it's a collar that Danny's master takes on and off when ordering his "dog" to attack, not a leash. It's never explained how Danny came to be controlled like a dog, only that he was taken in as a youngster. Nor is it explained how he learned all of his martial arts skills. Another inconsistency in the film is the amount of knowledge that simpleton Danny is able to pick up on. He can't read and has a limited vocabulary (not sure what his first language is supposed to be), yet he is able to pick up on the piano pretty quick. Jet Li's Danny is the ass-kickingest idiot savant you'll ever meet!
People will be disappointed if they are expecting the action-packed slugfest that the previews portray. There are several big fight sequences, one of the best coming at the start of the movie, but they are spread throughout the film, and the pace of the story in between is glacial. About halfway through I found myself pining for Jet Li to just hit somebody already!
That brings me to the other main phase of the film -- Danny acclimating to a domestic life. He is taken in by a blind piano tuner named Sam (Morgan Freeman), who really seems like he can see, and Sam's spastic stepdaughter Victoria (Kerry Condon), who appears to be a twentysomething actress playing "the Natalie Portman role." Jet Li's one liners, akin to Leeloo's in
The Fifth Element, elicited laughs from the audience of which I was a descenter. The scene where Victoria removes Danny's collar is pretty anticlimactic. There is a brief cut scene from one of the seemingly distant fight sequences, a kiss on the neck, and Danny is all better.
The only redeeming aspect of the film is the fact that the two key supporting roles went to veteran actors. Even slumming it in these roles they're able to elevate their characters to something worth watching if only for a moment as your eyes roll skyward.
I hate to be this harsh on something Luc Besson put forth. For pure action films,
Kiss of the Dragon and
The Transporter have more going for them than the average musclebrained American flick. But I have wasted enough hard earned cash on his last few efforts and re-releases of his better films to justify a little backlash. Now get off your ass and direct something Luc!
Soundtrack note: The two bonus tracks added to the U.S. version for marketing purposes are played over the closing credits. Dolla dolla bills y'all!